Okay, so when I talked to med management, I said what I heard the therapist say, which was about 3 weeks for another appointment. It turns out that I have an appointment tomorrow, so I'm not sure if she was joking, or said it wrong, or what, so I have to clarify with med management. If I made a mistake, then I should correct it. I don't want anyone saying a bunch of crap, like I make false statements, because I don't. That would only help an enemy, because of course, they use anything they can. DHHS wanted Percy to sign a release of everything said at his mental health assessment, and HIV status, and everything else that could be released. They've already got me to after shaking me up so bad I couldn't think straight. But you know, That is the way they operate. 

Feb. 23rd

Still trying to keep the sensibilities I always had through this. I'm not sure if I made a mistake of telling the med management some things I can't prove. Some people rely on lack of evidence to get away with things they have done. All she has to do is say she isn't guilty of anything. All she has to say is, that I am saying what I'm saying because she called DHHS on me. The way things are, she would be the one that is believed, and I will be doubted. That's just the way it goes in this world. 

I'm one that doesn't believe that putting burden on people in a crisis is right, also, but Biden is President. Proof of everything I just said. I don't believe in doing everything China says in exchange for money. That kind of hookery should be left to the streets, if it is anywhere. Preferably not the streets, either, I'd rather it be cleaned up, but this is what is, I guess. 

I'm not sure what exactly went wrong, but taking one step forward and two steps back isn't exactly what I believed I should be doing. I'm sick of being destroyed, whore. 

I wish I could spend time at the other trailer. It's empty and peaceful. But it's full of black mold. It would be nice to have a night by myself. It's okay, though. 

I like the Big Suit and appreciated the gesture. I liked the black dress. 

I am trying not to let it bother me that no one cares. I know everyone has their own little life and can't be bothered by much, but it didn't used to be this way. the wave of shit seems to have gotten alot of people, and turned them into crap, but I guess I didn't do what I was supposed to. I was hoping for so much more. 

I had a grease fire. Chicken grease. I can't find it on the cam, though. But it's okay. I'll look later. I'm sick of every day being sitting in here. And it's now 1 am, and Janie's up, I haven't slept. Pig isn't fed. 

Take me down to the pandemic city where the streets are empty and the view is pretty. 

So, things are fantastic and as they should be. It only takes a disaster to achieve peace.

This was originally posted in March, 2020. 

Odder than ever...

 Did anyone ever tell you not to speak out against drugs? I am very surprised at the statements from supposedly educated, professional people. Today, the Ombuddsman female I spoke to told me I should not write things on facebook. I told her I may have pissed off a drug dealer or two. But when I I told her that my son almost lost his life to drugs, and that I have been seeing a lot of this around lately, I said I could not keep silent and felt that I needed to. It is just something I can't keep in. I just never lived a life like that, and find it disgusting. I know it may be closer than I'd like, but I have kept it away pretty well, considering. I am just finding that people haven't evolved into what I had hoped after my isolation away from live people for so many years. The covid thing might be new for many, but for me, not much has changed. I am not liking it, and come this summer, bugs or no bugs, (I mean 
Covid), I plan on doing SOMETHING. Trust me, Janie even is feeling it. And it has been taking it's toll on us. They are showing the vaccines on television, but are they effective, what are the risks, and side effects? It all sound pretty uncertain and grim, for sure. 

Let us pray now, for the healing of the world.

Same as it ever was.

Someone posted about adoptive 'parents' getting about 36,000 in payments on children they starved, incarcerated and buried (one buried, anyway). I see the devil in people every day. 

This was so far away from me as long as Mom and Dad with God could shield me. It was all somewhere else. Under a different regime. A different time, even, which was long gone. Now, it's like it came up out of the ground, out of hell, and made them slaves to its venom. 

As far as I go, it's the cigarettes.